I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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