i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
