Did you just see the Batmobile???
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
