Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
