y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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