My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
