Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
