Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
