Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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