party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
