No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
