Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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