lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
