doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
