A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
