i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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