Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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