"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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