My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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