i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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