Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize