note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
