I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
