She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
