Umm I'm too high to move.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
