i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
