win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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