She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
