you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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