either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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