I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
