My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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