His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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