Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
