jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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