There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have post one night stand depression
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