VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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