Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
