I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
