no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No subtext here. People are naked.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
