I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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