Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
