I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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