those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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