Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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