were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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