i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
