piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
