Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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