Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
