arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
