Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
