She said her name was "party"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
