their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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