I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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